Golf Jokes Help Keep the Game Fun

Whether you are treating a potential business client to a round of golf or playing a sociable game among friends, golf jokes can help lighten the mood and make you a great addition to any foursome. While most jokes must be done in good taste and with the right timing, golf can be such a frustrating and unpredictable game that it would benefit all golfers to be able to keep things jovial on the golf course. By being able to laugh at yourself and making others’ laugh, golf jokes help keep the game fun, and it may ease the tension after a poor shot or missed putt.

As with all jokes, they must be tailored to your audience, do not make jokes about being married if you fear they may not resonate with your golf partners.

The following are some popular jokes for different audiences: A woman was taking her first golf lesson.

"Is the word spelled ‘p-u-t’ or ‘p-u-t-t’?'' she asked. "P-u-t-t is correct,'' the instructor replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.”

 Here’s a joke that men can relate to: A man comes home after an awful round of golf and he plunks down on the couch in front of the TV, and tells his wife, "Will you please get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Twenty minutes later, the husband says, "Get me another beer before it starts." The wife looks insulted, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is livid. She yells at her husband, "you've been golfing all day! Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of the television? You're nothing but a drunken, lazy slob, and furthermore . . .” The man then lets out a sigh and says, "It's started . . .”

A religious golf joke: A young man and a priest are playing a round together. At one short par 3, the priest asks, "what are you going to use on this hole my son?" The young man says, "a 9-iron, father. What about you?" The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft eight and pray." The young man nails his 9-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 8-iron and the ball dribbles out a few yards. The young man says, "I don't know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down."

Lastly: An American went to Scotland and played a round with his Scottish friend. After a bad tee shot, he played a "Mulligan" which was a great looking shot. The man asked the Scot, "What do you call a Mulligan in Scotland?" "We call it 3.”